Day 18-Something you regret

There are loads of things I regret, but very few that I regret enough to go back and change things. I am one of those people who believes that everything happens for a reason, and all of the choices in my life have made me who I am today. That said, I do regret trusting one person as much as I did. Several years ago I had a best friend, who was also my cousin. She and I talked daily and texted all the time. Although we lived in different cities, we were really, really close. Anyway, long story short, she betrayed me and began actively trying to turn family members against me and using information I had told her in confidence as weapons against me. During this time I found out who my true family was, and who were those I was better off forgetting. It was an incredibly hard and trying time, and I still struggle with trust. I have a very hard time telling people anything deep about myself because I fear that it will be used against me at a future date. I know that her willingness to behave in the way she did says more about her than me, but it still hurt.

So, now, the positive in that situation. First, as I said above, I was able to weed the bad apples out of my life. Second, I came away with my head held high because I did not stoop to her level and begin spilling her secrets, and trust me there were a few juicy ones. But, finally, in my moments of great despair, I turned to the church. I hadn't gone in years because of a bad experience in high school, but I knew at that time something was missing and I felt in my heart it was God. In those difficult times, God whispered for me to come back to Him, and thankfully I listened. Even years after I was betrayed, I still struggled with the experience, despite having fully forgiven my cousin, and God spoke to me again. He told me to change the way I saw the situation. It wasn't the greatest moment of betrayal in my life, it was the moment I turned from my old life to one with Him. Since that moment, I have been free in my experience with this cousin. Sure, I would have loved to avoided the entire situation, especially since it affected my mom and her mom's relationship, but I am eternally (and I mean it) grateful for the experience since it led me to the cross.

So, maybe this isn't a post about regret, but that's what popped in my head when I saw the subject line...